Date With Your Heart Not Your Wallet (Sep 19, 2011)
Here's an old saying my papa used to tell me. "Date with your heart son, not your wallet" That never made a whole lots of sense till I needed it to. You see, the day I met my wife to be, I didn't have a pale to piss in. I was literally flat broke, working my way through engineering school, driving a beat up nineteen sixty seven Rambler, and enjoying a daily diet of banana sandwiches, and Ramen Noodles.I really wanted to get to know this girl, and was determined to find a way to have a date with her even if it was on a low to zero budget. So I set out to get creative. You see, I've always had a streak of bold with about me, and a good sense of humor, so I put the two together, added in a tad of my creative side, and came up with a plan for a fancy low cost date with this girl of my dreams.I dug through what we had as a local entertainment paper, and spotted a free outdoor concert going on that upcoming weekend. The concert was just a local yet very talented singer songwriter playing acoustic guitar, and singing all original music. I thought BINGO, I'll invite this dream girl to go see a concert with me, I mean, what could be more romantic than a warm summer evening under the stars with live entertainment.Then I thought well what about dinner? I really didn't want to seem cheap, or even frugal, though this was a good girl with high character, and how much money I spent on her would have never mattered. But even going on a very low budget dinner, I really wanted the entire evening to be romantic, and special. The best I could come up with other than banana sandwiches, or sharing a nice bowl of Ramen Noodles was a Taco Bell that was located just a short walk down fro the park where the concert was being held. I thought well, it will have to do, at least this particular Taco Bell had outdoor picnic tables to add at least a tad of romance. Well I did invite her to go to the concert that upcoming weekend, and she said yes, so I was good and excited, and really looking forward to just spending some good quality time with this magnificent gal. As the week progressed, we talked a few times over the phone, which just made my feelings for her stronger, and helped to break the ice some before the big night. But as the week progressed, I started to try to think of ways that even on a low budget, I could make the date ever more special, and memorable. You see, I was after this gal, and she was an excellent find with great morals, and high character, and I was on a mission to impress, and I figured I had one good shot.In my mind, this gal was deserving of the very best. I was wishing that at that stage in my life I'd had the money to take her out to a fancy pants restaurant, one of those with candles, and nice white tablecloths, you know fine dining.So as the week went along, my creative side kicked in with a tad of my humorous side. I came up with a grand scheme.The evening of the date, we went to the Taco Bell, and I carried with me in a small bag a white tablecloth, and two candles, yep the scented ones. Upon getting out of the car, I walked straight up to one of the outside tables, as she instinctively followed me, I pulled out my white table cloth, tossed it ever so boldly onto the table, set my two candles down and lit them, and as any good waiter would do, I proceeded to take her order. She played right along with a tad of giggling, and a smile that could set the world on fire.After taking her order, I grabbed my cassette player out of the car, slipped in a cassette tape with some nice seventies love songs, and went inside to the counter to retrieve the order, and returned to the table requesting permission to join her, which she gladly accepted.We had a excellent romantic candle lit dinner with romantic music, and a concert under the stars, all for under $10.00Now that was thirty years ago, and we are still married to this day. She says any man with that cared enough and was thoughtful enough to go through all that was well worth marrying.So you see, my papa was dead on when he said, "date from your heart, not from your wallet"
Why I Travel Alone (sometimes) (Sep 18, 2011)
Some people shy away from traveling alone, a few embrace it. This article looks at the decided advantages of going it alone.First, traveling solo is the ultimate freedom. The itinerary you set and all the decisions you make are your creations without concern or acquiesence to any other person or group. In other words, no compromises. No arguments, no second-guessing!Traveling alone is a confidence builder as well. When I was young, at the tender age of 16 I traveled alone to work in Biddeford-Saco, Maine. I was over a hundred miles from home and family for the first time in my life. I was just a snipe of a boy and yet I was never terrified. Only a bit lonely. In retrospect, I realize the great value of that small journey (though a big one at the time) for a new found confidence was born in me. This always happens with travel by oneself. You learn you can solve problems, get over the blues, and find hidden treasures all by yourself.Have you noticed that when you're on your own as a Traveling Pauper, people are more willing to start a conversation with you? You may feel like taking the initiative as well. Up pops an invitation for a meal, a side trip, a stay at someone's home. For some odd reason people keep a slight distance from couples and groups for they seem so self-contained in their association. Whereas the single Pauper looks ready about for a fellow human being that he might engage at any moment in pleasant conversation and simple exhanges about his travels.Thomas Jefferson once said: "One travels more usefully when alone because he reflects more." It's true: you have abundant time for contemplating, even vegetating, or anything you want. A day long visit to one museum? No problem. A long hike on a trail frought with danger? Not an issue. You don't have to deal with someone else's mood swings, ---nor they with yours.Here are two more exicting reasons that solo travel apeals to me: I find you learn language faster when you don't have someone else talking to you in your own all the time. It's funny, but we interact, are FORCED to interact much more frequently when we travel alone in a country that doesn't speak our native tongue. And finally, romance. I won't get into specifics, (this is such a tender and private sort of thing) but when you're on your own you're free to meet someone who might turn out to be very important in your life.The most important factor to consider in your decision to make a trip alone is your own sense of independence. If you find that you have little tolerence for the idiosyncracies of others (and I confess this is my problem) you might be happier traveling alone.But what if you have an eager spouse, relative, or friend that would feel somehow diminisehd by your decision to take off by yourself? Not to sound indelicate but, that my friend, is your problem. You'll simply have to open up these relationships in your life and solidly communicate the value of traveling alone. I pray your loved ones will be open and understanding enough to allow your wish to become reality.I have a whole section in my book: 'Travel Cheap Travel Well!"- Confessions Of A Traveling Pauper on this issue of solo travel, as well as the many vagaries and benefits of traveling with a partner or a group.But in this article, I hope I've at least opened the door, shown you the great benefits of leaving everyone behind as you discover the world INSIDE and outside of yourself.Why not plan such a trip this year? Tell everyone of your decision or keep it to yourself and, with no explanation given, leave with great joy in your heart for the adventure to come. It's your choice!As for this Pauper, I've done both and found each a liberating experience each time. In such action I've rediscovered that little boy that traipsed off to far away Maine on his own without permission asked or granted. I rebel still at conformity and the ristriction of others upon me. I wasn't placed on this earth to always bekon to anyone who wished to call.So, I challenge you to answer your own inner traveling pauper, to pick up your courage and let your heart lead the way to a new adventure and landscape. Be it near or far---go it alone!
